Dreaming... and doing

What's next?

This very specific question both motivates and terrifies me, to this day. I still sometimes doubt I know how to answer it. How am I supposed to know what to focus on next? How can I decide between the thousands of possible next steps? And what if (heaven forbid), I end up choosing the wrong next step, and totally and completely ruin my entire life and business?

I'm learning. Very slowly that there's no such thing as a "wrong" step forward.

In fact, each step forward is a part of the process. Which is exactly why I have to stop waiting. I can no longer afford to wait.

To wait for the perfect:

• time to quit my job
• client to show up
• praise to come in
• opportunity to grow

Because waiting isn't the answer. I've been waiting for years. It's still not the answer.

Doing it, even though it's scary (and perhaps even despite bad timing) is the answer. Because, waiting (even though it's always sounded safer), has only ever delayed success. 

And I'm really tired of being unsuccessful in something I know I will have abundant success.

I'm ready for action, ready for change. Ready to delight! Watch me do it!

delightfully yours,

Rochelle

Misery is Good. Enjoy it while it lasts...

Some weeks are arguably easier and smoother to get through than others. When I have something to look forward to I have momentum to push me through boringboredom. Like planning a wedding, it's an extended period of time rushing and planning and then executing this thing you've been building up in your head... and then... it's over.

Just like that. All the hoopla, joy, satisfaction, attention... gone. Like a rug has been pulled out from underneath you. And you're stuck again with the same old crap.

It must be what a drug addict feels like — endlessly searching for that high, the adrenaline that comes with temporary fame and glory. And then the huge letdown, the crash, until it begins again. Life is cyclical.

"Fame is fleeting. Obscurity is forever. I’ll take obscurity."
- Napolean

I have a full-time job, a husband, and a hundred responsibilities: there is never a shortage of bills to pay, or clothes to wash, or dishes to clean, or thank-you notes to write, and phone calls to make, and meals to artfully craft, etc. I rush back home at six every night to let out the dog, feed the fur-kids, and I sometimes just want it all to stop for a moment so I can breathe, so I can escape and feel free.

Eleven years ago, I broke off my engagement to my long-term boyfriend and my whole life fell on my head. With him I had spent several years drifting around town rootlessly, eating only top Ramen and other disgusting processed foods and living in 10 x 10 x 6' attic rooms with little else than a mattress to my name. All I wanted was security, a family, a place to call home. I fantasized about it — the nice house, the nice husband, kids, blah blah blah. For a long time I let myself believe that he could be that nice husband, yet in this relationship I felt truly pathetic, lonely and unloved.

As I’m writing this now, I’m realizing that it was actually an amazing time. There is something really beautiful about not knowing which f*ing end is up and where you belong.

These days, I am really far from being a homeless drifter urchin. Being settled — as a wife with a career and a home of my own — was all I wanted for years and years. And trust me when I say that I am so incredibly grateful, and that I believe that the work we've put in has been worth the while. But I’d be lying if I said I didn't miss the days when I had none of it. There was something really light about those very dark times.

I'm a dreamer. I'm also a jealous girl of those who seem to have it all. Career, family, friends, and still manage to have fun. I have to constantly remind myself...

I dream of leaving this security for the freedom of managing myself — being disciplined enough to be successful on my own terms, and without the 'grownups' breathing down my neck about deadlines I couldn't care less about. It's a-l-m-o-s-t within reach... and it feels like it just might be my time.

Friends, keep on keeping on down the long, long road. Enjoy your single life while you can. The heartbreaks, the pain, the sucky, confusing, horrible-ness of it all. Surf the couches, feel the pain, wear the heels, cry your eyes out, spend all day in the dark thinking only about youyouyou. Work your heart to it’s core and discover who you really are deep down inside. Then do it all again. You’ll find your way in this life when it’s time.

xoxo,
Chelle

Bravery

Via

The Disney version of bravery includes fighting off bears, and fearlessly wielding a bow and arrow, but does bravery really require looking danger straight in the face while maintaining a steady, calm heartbeat? Does bravery require taking risky moves, or could simply taking baby steps outside your comfort zone be considered bravery?

We've touched on the power of fear previously my valid concerns or fears of failure, and - what I yearn to accomplish in my life. This year, after taking small steps over time to establish my own business, I've learned that with experience, things that seemed impossible once become second nature and can yield significant results, and I've been learning that if you want something bad enough, the small steps you take to break out of your comfort zone expand your horizons.

Perhaps through experience we become somewhat immune to the fear, however, I know I must remind myself to not let new experiences cripple me with fear and anxiety, but rather re-focus them as opportunities to succeed.

Via

I must remind myself that perfection does not necessarily yield success. Sometimes things go awry, and we learn from these trying moments. And under the bigger umbrella, these trying lessons only help us to grow and learn, and should not impact your memories of an otherwise positive experience. Likewise, de-valuing my work for whatever reason will only demonstrate to others that my work is not of value. Therefore, assigning fair value is the most important part of business. If my efforts are not valued, then why bother in the first place? After all, no one likes being taken advantage of. AmIright?

Delightfully yours,
Rochelle

A touchy subject

Budgets: we all have them. They are a much talked about subject not only in the wedding industry, but in life, and at times can be a bit difficult to make ends meet. More often than not, budgets aren't ideally where we would want them to be in life and for weddings. It is therefore so important when planning an event for both the clients and vendors to find the right fit. 

I wish I could make every bride-to-be's Pinterest dream wedding come true but most of the inspiration images I get are far out of reach of the average wedding budget. These are weddings that are featured on blogs as the best of the best and their floral budgets alone may be half of what some couples' entire wedding costs are. I have had a significant struggle with wishing I could accommodate all the dreams and wishes of each and every client, and honestly, I've had a bad habit of sacrificing my own sanity and paycheck to make dreams come true. 

Finding a happy ground where budget meets inspiration is an ongoing challenge, but devaluing my work and passion is not going to cut it any longer.

Today I read a great blog post discussing realistic budgets vs. inspiration images and expectations written by Nancy Liu Chin. She does an excellent job of breaking down where and how all of the money is spent on floral design and decor. I encourage every bride-to-be or fellow wedding vendor to read it in it's entirety. 

You can click here for the post. And while I'm at it here is a little pie chart from Every Last Detail that is great visual aid.

delightfully yours,

Rochelle Leigh Wall

I have a secret...

...well, for many of you maybe it's not such a big secret... but I feel like I breathe a word of it, the potential of this dream I've been holding on to so tightly will vanish into the air it's spoken.

I have a great passion for floral design. And event (wedding) design and planning. This is no secret. But alas, financial responsibilities and fear have prevented me from being able to pursue my great passion, leaving me brokenhearted more often than not.

I sacrifice my sanity so we can have a lovely home. It's a balancing act, which tilts in the direction of stability and what has been "safe". And for a long time now I have been willing to do what I feel I must by maintaining a good paying and steady employment at a desk job that frankly does not suit me or my creative nature.

My imagination is a constant kaliedescope of blooms and ribbon as my fingers fly across the 10-keys. At times I feel numb... numb to this job that sometimes seems to drain me of my passion and inspiration. And so my whirring brain has been hatching a plan for some time now. A plan to escape what will perhaps inevitably will kill my soul. The mundane.

I've toyed with blogging more. But I lack the freedom and structure (yes, both) to be able to commit. I've taken on more brides this year than ever before, and my soul is soaring! But again my fear, and lack of professional training renders me doubtful in my skills. I need more exposure, but how?

Internship.

This is my big secret. This is the next step. I am certain of it. Now, I just need to commit and take that giant leap of which I am so fearful. Today marks a day that I have made a first big step towards my own freedom, by expressing my interest in an internship with an incredibly talented wedding floral designer.

And now I can barely breathe.

Do me a gigantic favor my dear friends and please cross your fingers and toes, and maybe even your eyes, for me.

delightfully yours,
Chelle xx