Friday, April 5, 2013

I have a secret...

...well, for many of you maybe it's not such a big secret... but I feel like I breathe a word of it, the potential of this dream I've been holding on to so tightly will vanish into the air it's spoken.

I have a great passion for floral design. And event (wedding) design and planning. This is no secret. But alas, financial responsibilities and fear have prevented me from being able to pursue my great passion, leaving me brokenhearted more often than not.

I sacrifice my sanity so we can have a lovely home. It's a balancing act, which tilts in the direction of stability and what has been "safe". And for a long time now I have been willing to do what I feel I must by maintaining a good paying and steady employment at a desk job that frankly does not suit me or my creative nature.

My imagination is a constant kaliedescope of blooms and ribbon as my fingers fly across the 10-keys. At times I feel numb... numb to this job that sometimes seems to drain me of my passion and inspiration. And so my whirring brain has been hatching a plan for some time now. A plan to escape what will perhaps inevitably will kill my soul. The mundane.

I've toyed with blogging more. But I lack the freedom and structure (yes, both) to be able to commit. I've taken on more brides this year than ever before, and my soul is soaring! But again my fear, and lack of professional training renders me doubtful in my skills. I need more exposure, but how?

Internship.

This is my big secret. This is the next step. I am certain of it. Now, I just need to commit and take that giant leap of which I am so fearful. Today marks a day that I have made a first big step towards my own freedom, by expressing my interest in an internship with an incredibly talented wedding floral designer.

And now I can barely breathe.

Do me a gigantic favor my dear friends and please cross your fingers and toes, and maybe even your eyes, for me.

delightfully yours,
Chelle xx

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