I have a secret...

...well, for many of you maybe it's not such a big secret... but I feel like I breathe a word of it, the potential of this dream I've been holding on to so tightly will vanish into the air it's spoken.

I have a great passion for floral design. And event (wedding) design and planning. This is no secret. But alas, financial responsibilities and fear have prevented me from being able to pursue my great passion, leaving me brokenhearted more often than not.

I sacrifice my sanity so we can have a lovely home. It's a balancing act, which tilts in the direction of stability and what has been "safe". And for a long time now I have been willing to do what I feel I must by maintaining a good paying and steady employment at a desk job that frankly does not suit me or my creative nature.

My imagination is a constant kaliedescope of blooms and ribbon as my fingers fly across the 10-keys. At times I feel numb... numb to this job that sometimes seems to drain me of my passion and inspiration. And so my whirring brain has been hatching a plan for some time now. A plan to escape what will perhaps inevitably will kill my soul. The mundane.

I've toyed with blogging more. But I lack the freedom and structure (yes, both) to be able to commit. I've taken on more brides this year than ever before, and my soul is soaring! But again my fear, and lack of professional training renders me doubtful in my skills. I need more exposure, but how?

Internship.

This is my big secret. This is the next step. I am certain of it. Now, I just need to commit and take that giant leap of which I am so fearful. Today marks a day that I have made a first big step towards my own freedom, by expressing my interest in an internship with an incredibly talented wedding floral designer.

And now I can barely breathe.

Do me a gigantic favor my dear friends and please cross your fingers and toes, and maybe even your eyes, for me.

delightfully yours,
Chelle xx

It's Positive Affirmation Wednesday!

{Feel Good}

{source}

I am officially dubbing Wednesdays as Positive Affirmation Day! As a woman, I know I need to hear that I am beautiful, appreciated, and valued. Sometimes hearing "I love you" from your partner just doesn't cut it... and we all know that often men aren't the most original with their word selections.

I know that other women need to hear positive affirmations too, and I know that hearing one word of kindness can often brighten someone's entire day, and sometimes {if it is really good} an entire week.

So, this morning I took some time, and messaged several of my friends with something I know to be true about them. To my best friend, I wrote:

"You are a selfless, caring friend,
and your joy is infectious. <3"

And you know what? I made her day... and it feels good to have been able to do that for someone I care about and love.

She made my day in return:

"You inspire me in so many ways, 

and I think about you and wish you were closer
every single day. X x x"

Awesome, right?

xoxo,

Chelle

Because... I'm Awesome!

{i did it!}

Thank you to those of you that have provided so much encouragement and support to me recently. I cannot express what the support of my friends means to me. {Tear.}

I've done it... begun a new blog on organization, and I could not be more excited!  Take a look here!

xoxo,

~Chelle

A Step In The Right Direction?

{inspiring thoughts}

{http://www.etsy.com/shop/thewheatfield}

I had an honest conversation the other evening with my amazingly supportive husband regarding what I truly desire out of life. Feeling pulled in so many directions, I often feel like a 'Jill-of-all-trades.' Although I feel passion for being creative in many aspects, I am learning more and more that my strongest suit is being organized.

Organization is easy for me. I take pleasure in being super-organized at work (it's really one of the few aspects of my job that truly I enjoy). Likewise, I love being able to assist friends with their organizational projects - whether it is sorting through their spare bedrooms or closets, purging unnecessary and unused items, figuring out what works, and putting the space back together again in a meaningful, useful, and beautiful way.

The organizational skills I possess have helped me conquer planning my own wedding, as well as helping others with theirs. And while I consider it an honor to help people plan their dream weddings, it's the organizational aspect I enjoy the most. Recently working on projects around my own home has been ridiculously fulfilling, which has spurred this pondering.

Which leads me to my quandary to you readers: 

Should I begin a blog on organizing? 

Would you read it? 

And, the biggest question of all...

Would you spread the word in support?

This could be a step in the right direction...

I thank you sincerely for taking the time to read, and respond!

xoxo,

~Chelle

Fresh perspective

{blog update}

 

I spotted this beautiful poster on Pinterest a few weeks ago, designed by Emily Ley. 

I've been holding onto this quote, revisiting it periodically, re-finding inspiration. 

Rather than aiming for perfection, let's try grace. 

Feel the weight lifting already? I know. It's amazing, right?

Thank you Emily for unwittingly providing me with such inspiration!

xoxo
~Chelle

Crossroads

{Are you doing what you want?}

Lately my thoughts have been directed towards making some kind of big change in my life. I have this lingering (read: nagging) thought that I should be using my brain and artistic ability to further myself in a related career. However, I am still trying to figure out exactly what I want to do and how I can possibly make a steady income inspirations and ideas in my head materialize into a marketable product. The last time I decided to start something, I established this website convincing myself that "if you build it, they will come". Kevin Costner - Ha!

Ever had that voice inside your head nag at you about something? Definitely is. Has been, for about 3 years now.

I don't want to live a life where I don't give new experiences a good college try. I don't want to be afraid of new challenges. But I am. I am terrified. Terrified of failing at doing something I love. Terrified partly because I know how quickly things could go downhill considering our terrible economy, and secondly I don't know the first thing about running my own business.  Couldn't I just be the beauty of a business?  Come up with all the brilliant ideas, execute them exquisitely and have someone brilliantly business savvy take care of all the extra messy stuff I can't be bothered with?  

Any volunteers?

Daily I remind myself that I am lucky to have a steady income and be able to afford my beautiful home and the comfortable yet modest life I live. I have a quote on my bulletin board at work that I have to read (nearly) every day - "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without it." 

I am grateful. So, I shelve grandeur ideas of "Delightful Blooms." Who am I kidding? After all, I haven't even conjured enough gumption to print business cards for said budding business (pun intended).

I'm just not sure exactly which fork in the road is right for me just yet: 

• Etsy Shop creating custom Maps (with more than one item for purchase, and more than one sale annually)? 
• Floristry - i.e. Delightful Blooms? 
• Party Planning?
• Blogger (with little-to-no audience)?  

All these things I happily and (perhaps too) eagerly do part-part-part-part time as favors to family and friends... what remains for me is how to translate all that I do into a (reliable) paycheck.  Mortgage must be paid!

So that's where I'm at right now. All I can surmise at this time is that I know I want to do something else. 

Just very unsure about where to go from here.

image credit

Reflections, Revelations and Resolutions

{Happy New Year!} 

With the fresh start we are so graciously granted in our minds each New Year, we have the opportunity to reflect on our previous year, and decide what goals we have for the coming 365 days.  I'm not one to make the traditional New Year's Resolutions like "lose weight" or "read more" that often fizzle out by the end of February, but this year after much self reflection and observation and inspiration, I have come to only one conclusion: I am the only one that can prevent my happiness, so in 2011 my resolution is to not stand in the way of my true happiness, but to offer it encouragement.

Overall, the later part of my twenties have been years of profound growth; each year I learn a bit more about who I am, what I stand for, and what I will tolerate.  At times I have felt like the victim of someone else's negative energy, doomed to suffer in order to make it out on the other side.  With a little inspiration from a great quote from a movie, I've learned that the moral of the story is, "It's not the power of the curse, it's the power you give the curse".

I reserve the right to the following curse-debilitating choices:

•  remove myself from the toxic influence of everything that would attempt to bring me down.

•  say Sianara! to the Negative Nancy's, and all of the influences effecting my choice of a positive state of mind or cause me to doubt myself.  

• pursue my dreams, and let nothing stand in my way.  

•  say Welcome! to my supporters, cohorts and the positive energy and love that really is surrounding me.  

I am the only one that can control what it is I chose to focus on, and the outcome of the choices I make.

Likewise, I have learned yet again that good friends are hard to come by, and therefore all the more worth keeping.  I will support and love them the way they do me, be a loyal, listening ear of comfort when times are challenging, and a positive light of inspiration whenever I can!  I have the wonderful ability to choose who will influence me, and the wonderful people that are a part of my life today make life that much more special, memorable, and joyful.  My next step is to just keep going, all the while finding ways to demonstrate my gratitude for all those and that which I have been blessed.

This natural high on life has been an active, yet easy choice, and declaring it aloud I hope will keep me accountable.  I am starting afresh in 2011, rising even higher, reaching for those dreams and goals, treasuring all that I have and those that I love... those that keep me grounded, make me laugh, keep me sane, and inspire me!

Here's to a new start and a refreshed perspective!  xx