Contentment

Via

Lately I've been struggling with contentment and just being a grateful person. I always want more.  I want to achieve more, I want to do more. Not necessarily make a ton of money, though that would be nice. I just want recognition. I feel like a big greedy ingrate! 

I realize that I need a heart check.  What does contentment look like in my life? I need to allow myself to enjoy what I've been blessed with and what I've achieved, especially recently. I don't know what it is in me that feels I need to always be doing more and can never find peace or contentment. Maybe it's some deeper issues with parents, approval, etc. But that's a discussion for another time. ;-)

Please don't get me wrong - I know we have so much to be thankful for. Our beautiful house that we live in and a growing business of my own - we are blessed and give thanks daily. But I think this blog community I find myself in - the one in which I read all the blogs out there and see all the fabulous things other bloggers are doing - it can be easy to fall into this feeling of "wanting more" and it never being enough. Feelings associated with comparison. discontentment. jealousy - all these are so so dangerous. Or maybe it's just me.

Hope you don't mind me sharing some of these personal things that have been on my mind ... But I am curious to get your thoughts on the subject. Do you struggle with being content? Being thankful? If not,  please tell us your secrets! How do you remind yourself to be thankful or keep yourself in check when you start to compare? Thanks for reading today friends.

delightfully yours,

Rochelle xx

If you don't like it, get out!

I’ve said it before in real life (and, I’m pretty sure I will say it again), if you don’t like what you see or hear: move on.

Periodically we are all subject to the conversations of others. You know, you're within earshot of a conversation, and you can't help but hear every word being spoken. It's not that you are trying to listen in or disrespect their privacy (but if they really meant their words to stay private, they wouldn't be spoken in the company of others, right?), but it's there, and it's difficult to tune out. Fairly recently, I was at an event, sitting nearby a couple ladies having one of these conversations that I couldn't help but hear. And what struck me about their conversation was not the fact that I could hear it, but that I couldn’t stop listening to the gossip and negative conversations they were sharing. They spent the better portion of an hour spewing poisonous words; putting down this person and that person, followed by their expressions of hatred towards their jobs (be thankful for your employment!), and frustrations with husbands and/or family. There was not ONE single positive thing these ladies had to say. I kid you not. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I moved. I changed seats, and I got up and walked around. I was now out of ear shot of them. I no longer had to listen to their gossipy mean chit-chat. I made my choice: move my butt, so I no longer had to listen to these ladies.

I did not enjoy hearing them. I didn't make a big spectacle of it, but I picked myself up, and moved on. I moved to the other side of the room. I am happy I did, because these ladies sat there for another hour: I did not hear that last hour… Thank goodness.

My point in sharing this (rather vague) story is: if you don’t like what you see or hear, get out of there. I’ve had my fair share of negative comments and feedback thrown my way (whatever, brush it off), but I still can’t understand why anyone would continue to go back to something they hate. Why would you want to continue to perpetuate a relationship or situation with a person who is, in your opinion, never interesting? Is it just so you can join in the gossip? (Yes.) Calling people ugly and stupid is fun? I don’t know.

There is no guarantee there will be no backlash from walking away, but for goodness' sake, do it for your own sanity.

I’ve been trying my best this year to move forward after experiencing a painful backlash, continuing to work on myself and be a better (and bigger) person. Then I hear mean words spoken by perfect strangers, and even experience snide attitudes… And, I feel the instinctive urge to start pulling away. Instead, I ignore the bad. As much as I want to watch the train wreck of emotions, I don't want to end up hurt, again, so I ignore. I block it out. I will ignore it and not support it. There will always be mean spirited people out there in the world with weird, random, unrealistic and hateful things to say about you, even under the 'guise of "advice" or "clearing the air", but I choose to look away and ignore the hurtful things people will say about me. 

I choose to accept the fact that maybe not everyone I meet will like me (believe me, that’s the hardest part. I don’t like to not be liked… Or, even hated). But, whatever. I know me. I am a good person. I do have some friends that truly enjoy me, and I enjoy them. I can’t win everyone over (even when I want to). But, do I really want to? I don't believe anyone likes negative/toxic friendships, especially me… and, I don’t put up with them. So, I think I’m glad I can’t win them all over.

I speak my mind. 

     Yes! I do. 

I do have high standards. 

     Yup, I do. 

Yes, I believe in people, and expect greatness from great people… I think it’s important to remain optimistic especially when so many negative influences are out there to bring us down. 

I have great faith in others. 

     I don’t hide the fact that I do. 

          Heck yeah! 

I forgive, but don't mistake my forgiveness as forgetfulness. 

     I don't make the same mistakes twice.  

           Holy crap! 

I am extremely loyal. 

     Yes! 

I am never mean.  

     Never. 

I am happy.  

     Yes, I have bad days (especially given the year I've had), but luckily, there are a lot fewer bad days when I ignore all the negativity. I can and will focus on the positive. <3 p="p">

I have the brain power to hit delete to those mean comments, and I make the choice to ignore all the negativity.

The true ugly: mean.

Passionate Living

{Katie Daisy}

I like to believe that I live my life with passion. Daily life gets in the way, sometimes, but having so much to be passionate about, and to be so inspired by so many people and things, passion, for me, is a way of life.

How about you? What is your passion?

Friendships

{Friends are the Family you Choose}

... To paraphrase Edna Buchanan.  There is nothing quite like knowing you can be your true, unabashed, carefree self and know that there will be no judgment, no criticism, only love on the other side.

Friendship is a powerful thing.  I've always prided myself, if not on anything else, on being the type of person that is worthy of being a good friend. I place value in traits I look for in others - traits I seek in friendships, in relationships in general:

• Trustworthyness
• Trust
• Loyalty
• Compassion
• Love
• Open Heart
• Open Ears
• Sense of Adventure
• Sense of Humor
• Generousity

I bet one or more of you would look at this list and say, "well, yeah!"  It seems pretty basic a concept. Those are pretty important traits for anyone, right?

Here's what Wikipedia says about friendship:

In a comparison of personal relationships, friendship is considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations...

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

• The tendency to desire what is best for the other
• Sympathy and empathy
• Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
• Mutual understanding and compassion
• Trust in one another (able to express feelings - including in relation to the other's actions - without the fear of being judged); able to go to each other for emotional support
• Positive reciprocity - a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.

I believe that friendship essentially involves a distinctive kind of concern for your friend, a concern which might reasonably be understood as a kind of love, and who doesn't love love?  Just try Googling "friend love" and see what photos you find.  There's lots of love out there... “It seems to me that love is everywhere.”

Yes, I love my friends.  I tell them so on the regular.  And I know that my abundance of affection rubs some the wrong way, but I can't help it.  When I know that I love someone, I tend to show it to the world.

So, my friends, you are loved.  I love you.

Social Voyeurism

{Defining Privacy} 

Believe it or not, I'm a no holds-barred kind of girl.  {Sarcasm intended}  It's true, whether verbally and emotionally I tend to throw reservations aside and worry about consequences later, and sometimes it gets me into T-R-O-U-B-L-E!  

I seriously admire those that have the ability to live privately and without fanfare keeping things close to the cuff, treasuring their thoughts and memories for themselves.  Being in on their loop is even more special when it happens.  However, as public as I am, this kind of quietness in others can be somewhat frustrating when it comes to communication.

Feeling like you are part of someone's life is a special feeling, and being able to witness what's going on in the lives of the people I love with the convenience of social networking sites, it has become that much more simple to keep tabs with what is going on and feel a part of something bigger than myself and my small domain.  But when it seems that you're the only one making any effort towards public displays it's a little disconcerting.  Privacy seems to be the new rage in a time while Big Brother thrives all around us.  

How public is too public?  

It's okay for all of us to want to be social voyeurs, but there's gotta be something good to look at!

You think you know someone...

You think you know someone, and then BAM! ...something occurs that forever alters your perception of that person.

This has been a year filled with perception altering discoveries. Being a believer in first impressions, and trusting one's instincts, I have begun to doubt myself in consequence of namely three instances that changed my definition of reality. Furthermore, any trepidation I have towards the potential to muck up the already muddy waters of these situations prevents me from disclosing the particulars of these events. Let me reassure you, they have rocked the foundation of what I know about my friends, family, and about the dynamics of the human condition.

Goes to show, you never truly can judge a book by its cover - and don't ever assume you fully know a person, because very rarely will they fully divulge their innermost secrets and soul. I wish everyone were as open and honest, and understanding as I aim to be daily. Alas, this is not the case, and I must pick and choose what I say, and who I say it to for fear of rejection and misunderstanding. True, it is not fair, but it is reality, and having the integrity, intelligence and heart to persist and have faith and trust in those around you is what I admire most, and therefore strive to be.

I refuse to be ignorant, or pretend to not be aware. In truth, I observe the subtleties (whether I want to or not), and somehow I know. So I advise you, time will give up your secrets, and although they have the potential to shock and amaze, have faith that I will not let our differences bring us down, and break the love I have for you.