Friendships

{Friends are the Family you Choose}

... To paraphrase Edna Buchanan.  There is nothing quite like knowing you can be your true, unabashed, carefree self and know that there will be no judgment, no criticism, only love on the other side.

Friendship is a powerful thing.  I've always prided myself, if not on anything else, on being the type of person that is worthy of being a good friend. I place value in traits I look for in others - traits I seek in friendships, in relationships in general:

• Trustworthyness
• Trust
• Loyalty
• Compassion
• Love
• Open Heart
• Open Ears
• Sense of Adventure
• Sense of Humor
• Generousity

I bet one or more of you would look at this list and say, "well, yeah!"  It seems pretty basic a concept. Those are pretty important traits for anyone, right?

Here's what Wikipedia says about friendship:

In a comparison of personal relationships, friendship is considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations...

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

• The tendency to desire what is best for the other
• Sympathy and empathy
• Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
• Mutual understanding and compassion
• Trust in one another (able to express feelings - including in relation to the other's actions - without the fear of being judged); able to go to each other for emotional support
• Positive reciprocity - a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.

I believe that friendship essentially involves a distinctive kind of concern for your friend, a concern which might reasonably be understood as a kind of love, and who doesn't love love?  Just try Googling "friend love" and see what photos you find.  There's lots of love out there... “It seems to me that love is everywhere.”

Yes, I love my friends.  I tell them so on the regular.  And I know that my abundance of affection rubs some the wrong way, but I can't help it.  When I know that I love someone, I tend to show it to the world.

So, my friends, you are loved.  I love you.

Social Voyeurism

{Defining Privacy} 

Believe it or not, I'm a no holds-barred kind of girl.  {Sarcasm intended}  It's true, whether verbally and emotionally I tend to throw reservations aside and worry about consequences later, and sometimes it gets me into T-R-O-U-B-L-E!  

I seriously admire those that have the ability to live privately and without fanfare keeping things close to the cuff, treasuring their thoughts and memories for themselves.  Being in on their loop is even more special when it happens.  However, as public as I am, this kind of quietness in others can be somewhat frustrating when it comes to communication.

Feeling like you are part of someone's life is a special feeling, and being able to witness what's going on in the lives of the people I love with the convenience of social networking sites, it has become that much more simple to keep tabs with what is going on and feel a part of something bigger than myself and my small domain.  But when it seems that you're the only one making any effort towards public displays it's a little disconcerting.  Privacy seems to be the new rage in a time while Big Brother thrives all around us.  

How public is too public?  

It's okay for all of us to want to be social voyeurs, but there's gotta be something good to look at!

Reflections, Revelations and Resolutions

{Happy New Year!} 

With the fresh start we are so graciously granted in our minds each New Year, we have the opportunity to reflect on our previous year, and decide what goals we have for the coming 365 days.  I'm not one to make the traditional New Year's Resolutions like "lose weight" or "read more" that often fizzle out by the end of February, but this year after much self reflection and observation and inspiration, I have come to only one conclusion: I am the only one that can prevent my happiness, so in 2011 my resolution is to not stand in the way of my true happiness, but to offer it encouragement.

Overall, the later part of my twenties have been years of profound growth; each year I learn a bit more about who I am, what I stand for, and what I will tolerate.  At times I have felt like the victim of someone else's negative energy, doomed to suffer in order to make it out on the other side.  With a little inspiration from a great quote from a movie, I've learned that the moral of the story is, "It's not the power of the curse, it's the power you give the curse".

I reserve the right to the following curse-debilitating choices:

•  remove myself from the toxic influence of everything that would attempt to bring me down.

•  say Sianara! to the Negative Nancy's, and all of the influences effecting my choice of a positive state of mind or cause me to doubt myself.  

• pursue my dreams, and let nothing stand in my way.  

•  say Welcome! to my supporters, cohorts and the positive energy and love that really is surrounding me.  

I am the only one that can control what it is I chose to focus on, and the outcome of the choices I make.

Likewise, I have learned yet again that good friends are hard to come by, and therefore all the more worth keeping.  I will support and love them the way they do me, be a loyal, listening ear of comfort when times are challenging, and a positive light of inspiration whenever I can!  I have the wonderful ability to choose who will influence me, and the wonderful people that are a part of my life today make life that much more special, memorable, and joyful.  My next step is to just keep going, all the while finding ways to demonstrate my gratitude for all those and that which I have been blessed.

This natural high on life has been an active, yet easy choice, and declaring it aloud I hope will keep me accountable.  I am starting afresh in 2011, rising even higher, reaching for those dreams and goals, treasuring all that I have and those that I love... those that keep me grounded, make me laugh, keep me sane, and inspire me!

Here's to a new start and a refreshed perspective!  xx