Lots and Lots of Questions... and Few Answers

I have often wondered what others think of me. It's a question I am not even certain I would honestly want an answer to, but ya gotta wonder sometimes.

When I divulge my innermost thoughts to someone I trust, how can I trust that what I tell them won't somehow push them away?

I don't.

However, I have faith in my friendships, and always hope they will continue to love me, and not judge when I share sensitive information.

Disappointingly, this hope has not always been enough.

Many a friendship has ended on account of my blatant and unapologetic "wearing my heart on my sleeve." Truth is, relationships, no matter how special they may be doesn't always work out, for various reasons. So does that mean the friendship or experience was a waste of time and effort?

I like to think not.

Optimistically, walking away from a relationship, for whatever reason affords us an opportunity to grow and learn as individuals. We can gather information about our adventures and learn valuable lessons from every experience in life. Those who refuse to grow are only a hindrance to themselves.

But at what point in a relationship do we resign and part ways? How long of an adjustment or 'cooling off' period do we need to grant one another in order to absorb the situation, gather ourselves, and move ahead? And do we continue on, or pack our bags and leave?

And to throw another wrench into the mix, what happens if we're not on the same page?

Well, folks, although I have an abundance of questions, I certainly am not going to be able to provide you with answers to your own situations. We can all speculate on how we might react, or handle a less than desirable situation should we be in it, however, with all our hopes and values, we do not know until we are in the moment how we will act and react. I, for one, am always open to learning and finding the value of experience from my surroundings, my friends, my family, from life itself.

I have moments of pristine clarity - like puzzle pieces finally locking into place. Unfortunately, the moments in between are often riddled with cloudy moments of doubt. I often wonder, "why me?", or "what happened?" and even "who are these strangers surrounding me?"

Listening to our conscience seems to be an unpopular practice. Seemingly few of us want to heed our inner monologue when it's shouting at us "DON'T DO THAT!" or "GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT!" We know better (hopefully), and yet, do we take the time to listen?

Listen to yourself. Quiet the world around you... slow down.

Turn off the TV. Shut down the computer. Take a load off, and allow your thoughts to wash over you, and allow your mind the time to process all the information we are bombarded with in any given day. You might be amazed with what clarity of mind can follow.

I know I am.

I write. First in my journal, and with that inspiration, I blast my thoughts across the web via blog.  I lay it all out on the line, and you can take it or leave it. My only motive in writing this blog is to not be so afraid of having my open heart be broken. So while I am fearful, and carefully choose my words, bear in mind that we all have good days, and bad days. Some are more profound than others.

These are just a few of my thoughts.

Thanks for reading.